While these parenting tools are good resources for any parent, they are especially valuable for parents of emotional or emotionally intense children.
Give Choices but limit them. An intense child could be overwhelmed by too many options but also wants to have some control so give choices but limit them to 2 or 3 3 for the most part (focus on 2) So rather than "what do you want for a snack" leaving you open to an unacceptable choice or frustration by too many options, give choices of 2 or 3 3 acceptable choices.. "you can have an apple, a banana or cheese and crackers for snack"
Time out is not only for kids. If you're boiling over, excuse yourself for a couple moments of chill out time. Let your child understand that even mom's and dad's get frustrated and angry and we realize that attempting to solve a problem in that state of mind could be futile. Invest some time out and model self calming for your child - come back to the situation calm and reasonable (and hopefully your son or daughter will undoubtedly be calm and reasonable too at that time)
10 Minute warning. Lots of kids have difficulty adapting to change but intense children frequently have more difficulty than most. Prepare them in advance when you're able to reasonably expect difficulty. "We're going to the park for an hour". Then let Website link know something that may happen after that might help them transition "Then we're heading home for a snack"
Don't just say no. Redirection is a valuable tool to help keep the intensity level to a dull roar. Instead of "Stop That" when he's jumping from the couch to the ground, try "Practice your jumping upstairs or outside please". Dervish will have a tendency to lock down easily just tell him to stop doing something, but easily can redirect him to an alternative solution thats just as much fun (serves exactly the same purpose) it often stops the lock down before it starts.
Allow a child to express his strong emotions. Emotions are always OK, although some behaviors are not. Make the difference clear to your child. It's okay to be angry, but it's not okay going to people.
Look for and praise the behavior you intend to see. I might be tempted to state "but I never see that behavior" but that's not true, I do view it when I'm searching for it. It may be something really small (He picks up The Girl's toy off the ground and hands it to her) but that is a big deal, doing something nice without having to be asked, being considerate, thinking of others etc., Dervish is terminally pessimistic so I watch for a glimmer of hope in him and verbally notice it and praise him for thinking positive.
Check your expectations. Could it be reasonable for your child to behave the way you're expecting him to? Children can only just work with the various tools they have, which are tied to age and maturity and what we've taught them.